Oh My God

One of my favorite relatives forward an email with a certain prayer and a picture of a white man with long hair and men standing all around him at the end of it....

Normally I just delete this type of email, without responding, but this time I couldnt help but give it a moments thought...I know my relative believes that this person is a representaion of a God...but I still find myself finding it difficult to buy into the 'god' theories....

As much as my mind would luv to accept into a 'god', I find my heart still declining...I do know that a Divine Being exist inside of me, and everything else for that matter...but if I take this being out and make it into a 'god-head' over me, and not apart of me, then I feel myself heading back to agnosticville...

This is a topic I usually dont discuss, but have been wrestling with for years...I was raise to think that God was there when I pray, fast, or go to the Mosque...but any other time, I couldnt even tell you where God was...Was God there when I was sick, probaly not, I wasnt thinking about him so why would he be there....was God there when I did something bad, when I cheat, lie or steal...nope God wasnt there...God was only there when I felt like I needed him...

I questioned if a God was closer to me than my jugular vein, then how come God seem so far away, and only made special visits at certain times... sorry, but this God didnt seem anymore special to me than any of the other Gods...so enventually I stop talking to him...taking him into consideration for everything I did....

I realized this God like all the others, powers were limited, and stop just above the door, in the intricate designs hovering over our heads, and the dried ink that stained the book that was read in a language that I couldnt understand....

Yep, this God couldnt do no more or no less than his rivals who stood on pedastals, or drawn into pictures...

After my agnostic spell started to wear off, I felt the need to talk to someone....lucky for me all I had was the God that I was brought up to believe in...needless to say that didnt last long, because I still felt that God was too limited....

And then something dramatic happended. My eyes and ears opened up. Whenever I ask myself a question I got an answer. Whenever I 'wish' for something it happend. Whenever I went searching for something it was revealed to me...And most importantly whenever I needed the Truth, it was made known to me....

I dont remeber exactly the day when I stopped praying to a God, and started worshipping the Divine in me....but from that moment on till now, I know that whenever Im sick, the Divine is there, whenever Im doing good or bad, the Divine is still around...whenver I pray, meditate, chat, sing, dance, kiss, talk, be silent, sleep, awake, make luv, the Divine will alway be there...because the Divine is a part of me....it exist in everything...it is everywhere because everything is everywhere...

May you be reminded in the Divine in You